Scottish Slang FAQ

Scottish for Dummies 
   aka 
   Berloke`s Handy Guide Thereof 
   (last updated 14/7/99) changes as soon as anyone asks me what the hell I`m
   talking about. 

   THIS HAS LOADS OF SWEARING IN IT. RUN AWAY HIDING YOUR EYES IF THIS UPSETS
   YOU. 

   pissed/shitfaced/wankered/rat-arsed = drunk 
   fags = cigarettes 
   (these two cause the most confusion) 
   up the duff/up the stick = pregnant 
   ahright/awright/alright = hello 
   nut/stick the heid on (verb) = to headbutt 
   headcase/heidcase/nutter = violent person. Think Begbie from Trainspotting 
   A hiding/kicking = a thorough beating 
   Irn-Bru = A synthetic orange coloured fizzy drink. Has powerful hangover
   curing properties 
   bevvy = alcoholic drink 
   wanker/tosser = person who masturbates(insult) 
   bollocks = testicles 
   nob = penis 
   mince = good & bad & walk favoured by camp gay men 
   (yes it means all three. You`ll have to work it out by context) 
   mincer = camp gay man 
   gash = fairly offensive term for vagina & an adjective meaning very very bad 
   bloke/punter = man 
   nob jockey/fuckwit = random term of abuse 
   bird = woman 
   fanny = quite mild term for vagina. 
   bucket fanny = work it out for yorself. NOT a compliment >:-) 
   boys and toys = boys and girls (not that I think women are toys, it`s just
   that "girls" doesn`t rhyme) 
   what like? = how are you? 
   nae sae bad = not so bad 
   canny = cannot 
   nipper/sprog = baby 
   hoor = whore 
   fucking hoor of a cunt = not something I`m likely to be saying in buffyguide a lot. A
   curse used when highly pissed off. fhoac 
   bogs = toilets 
   shitter = toilet or anus 
   gary (glitter) = shitter 
   stone (in context of weight) = 14 pounds